It is our fifth day.
Love yourself. It sounds like a
simple thing, doesn’t it? If it were,
most of us would be there. Like riding a
bike.
We learned about bike riding and self love around the same
time. We were very young. When learning both, there was this gentle
period of acclimation where someone – mom, dad, big brother, big sister, uncle
or aunt – held you until the right moment.
It was that moment when you were on your own. Your balance, speed and success were each
self determined. You were heading out
into the world – solo.
What you gleaned from the lessons they gave very much
decided how you approached both self love and bike riding. Did they hold on a little too long out of
fear? Did they push you away too
soon? How they reflected both for you is
evidenced in your style. We are
associative beings. We watch, listen and
decide for ourselves what will work.
Typically, we mimic.
It is time for a new approach. We are all grown up now. We no longer “need” to be held; although some
days it feels like that. On those days
we comfort ourselves with any one of our addictions. We may blame someone for cutting off our
supply, self-medicate or decide to be stoic.
Each approach ends with a hollow spot.
This is not Agape (self-love).
It can be scary to decide to love anyway. Despite what you may have learned from your
elders or any internal objection – you are absolutely lovable. There is no fear in self-love. You don’t need make up, great abs or a large
bank account. Whatever you have right
now is enough. You hold a spark of
eternity. You are love embodied. Today.
There is no fault that separates you from being worthy of
this love. Its discovery is sort of like
that moment when you realize no one is holding on to the bike (or to you) and
you are moving on your own; shocking and thrilling all at once. When it happened for me, I opened my mouth to
yell with joy and a bug flew in. Not
what I expected and sort of gross. I
kept on riding.
The thing is, you can keep going with your mouth shut
worried about the bug possibility or you can keep going screaming with joy
anyway. Both will get you there. One way sounds like fun; the other sounds
like work.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got enough to do. I’m not looking to give myself any more
jobs. Self-love is not something you
have to earn. It is free and equally
available. No one else is counting how
much you take or worrying about you getting theirs. No one is keeping score. You are the only one who actually knows how
much you’ve got.
Sometimes you see people and they arrive full out. Nothing is missing with them and as a result
they expect nothing from you. They are
not asking you to support their anxiety or fill up their empty spots. They are present. Whether you like them or
not, you can’t help but appreciate their lack of dependence. It is refreshing.
Agape is not something that was on the to-do list of those
who came before us. If you were shown
how to love yourself as a child, you are quite fortunate. If not, doing so now will bring up all sorts
of anxiety. It will feel “wrong”. It is not.
It is just different.
You are okay, all by yourself. You are good enough to shower with love. Treat yourself tenderly, this is new ground
and you may want training wheels. Go
ahead, be good to yourself. Give
yourself whatever you need. Smile. This is one thing you have to do alone. It is time.
You are the One you’ve been waiting for.
See you tomorrow.
~~Later today my new website will be published! Lots of new stuff and a drawing! Check it out and sign up! www.sophialove.org
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